Last week I had typed up a "Year in Review" type blog post that was quite nice! It was about a page and a half and I was uploading pictures from the year to share when my browser crashed and I lost it all. I was discouraged and didn't have time to do it again, so maybe you'll never hear my thoughts on the way positivity can impact a year or see the pictures of my nasty swollen ankle (trust me... its nasty)!
This morning I got out of bed with my head pounding, went down to the kitchen and took an excedrin. As I dizzily went back up to my room to lay down some more, I started thinking about how physically worn out I have been lately. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I'm not doing much better emotionally!
I got out my phone, probably to distract myself as I often do, and found myself just staring at the home screen because no one was awake to text, I didn't want to get on social media, and games are lame. Eventually I opened my oft-abandoned Bible App, and found a plan by Joyce Meyer I had started a year ago and had only one day left. The first line read:
"If you're feeling compelled to do so much that you're physically worn out, you may be driven instead of led."
This slapped me in the face. I've been stressed out, emotionally drained, and also physically suffering, and most of what consumes my thoughts are those of "ministry". Whether it be trying to find the money to do a certain ministry, or trying to find the time to practice for music ministry, or trying to figure out ways to overlap ministry with my job... whatever the case, I think I have found myself in a place of being more driven than I am led.
Its definitely a wake-up call, and I'm going to take Joyce's advice. She says to "come apart from a busy life before you come apart physically and emotionally". I know Jesus often found himself worn out and tired after selflessly giving of himself day in and day out, and He left an example on how to "come apart" for His followers:
"But He Himself would often slip away into the wilderness to pray." -Luke 5:16
There are several other examples! Mark 1:35, Mark 6:45-46, Luke 4:42, and Luke 6:12, just to name a few! Jesus knew where to get His strength and energy. It's not from vegging out in front of a tv watching a comedy, and its not from spending time with people who take care of you, although those activities are marginally effective.
I am going to do my best this next week to practice "coming apart from a busy lifestyle", but I'm going to try to do it the way Jesus did: by spending time alone with the Father. If you are also feeling stressed out and stretched far too thin, then I challenge you to do this with me, and let me know how it goes for you.