marriage

Day 33: 8 Weeks Ago :)

8 weeks ago today, Morgan and I celebrated our last Sabbath as "single" individuals (according to the state, at least). Our families and friends came together a day before the wedding to worship and eat together, and to just spend time enjoying each other's company. It was truly a blessing to Morgan and I, and one of the highest highlights of the weekend for us. 

Here are some pictures from that day! 

If you want to see more pictures like these, my brother-in-law posted about 250 on flickr, which you can view here

Also, a quick update: marriage is still awesome.

Day 7: Blended Families

This past weekend, Morgan and I have been celebrating her Great Aunt June’s 90th birthday in the Denver area.  It’s been a great excuse to visit some Union College students at Glacier View Ranch to talk about our alma mater, as well as an opportunity to see my parents and brother’s family.

Morgan’s mother comes from a family with very rich German heritage, so every time they all get together, food happens. Right now, I’m in the living room at Aunt June’s while Morgan is learning (with all her aunties I think… I’m having a hard time keeping track of who’s who!) how to make the famous cheese buttons. Saturday afternoon I got to experience Aunt June’s noodle soup with mashed potatoes and I gotta say, I’m a fan of all this German food stuff.

On our 45 minute drive here, Morgan and I did some talking, and we did some sitting quietly, and we did some singing. It turns out that one of my favorite things about being with her is that it has NEVER been awkward, whether we’re sitting in silence, being goofy, or having serious conversations.

I guess, the main thing I’m getting at today is that one of my favorite things about marriage so far has been blending families. Getting to know Morgan’s side the past few years has been a blast, but it just feels different now!

It kind of reminds me of this little, aqua green, GEO Metro my older sister used to drive. She taught me how to drive a manual transmission in it when I was 15, and I loved it. Not because it was this fast sports car or had fancy features, but because it just held a special place in my heart, and it was fun to drive because any stick shift felt more like a racecar than an automatic!

Me standing by my GEO

Me standing by my GEO

 But then 5th gear went out.
And then 4th gear went out.

So once this car had a max cruising speed of 40mph, completely incapable of driving on highways, it became my daily driver.  Now that it was mine, it became the COOLEST car in the parking lot at school (according to me, and only me most likely). I dubbed it “The Drift Buster”. Those tires were so thin that they just sliced through the biggest snow drifts without ever losing traction. I loved it even more because now it was mine.

Looking at Morgan’s old family pictures, meeting great aunts and uncles, and taking part in their family traditions means so much more to me now, and I think it’s because it isn’t just Morgan’s family. It’s also mine, and they have really made me feel like I am theirs.

Basically -- #blessed, #amirite?

Day 6: Four weeks of bein' married.

Exactly 4 weeks ago today, Morgan and I made a pretty incredible commitment. I remember driving to the airport for our honeymoon the next day and saying to her, "We're locked in. We decided yesterday to be best friends forever, no matter what. We're gonna be living together when we're 65 years old. You're still gonna have to kiss me when my lips are wrinkly and my breath smells like altoids. You can't back out anymore if I accidentally pass gas in public." 

But as we talked more about it, we realized the weight of the decision, and I think it kind of felt like this:

But then again, we're young, in love, and literally just having a blast. So after 4 weeks, we feel more like we're riding into the future carrying the weight of that decision like this. 

So far, we just love being married. I know I've heard Morgan answer the "How's marriage?!" question about as many times as I've been asked it, and she says the same things as me.

We just love being together! Plain and simple.

 

Day 2: Like, we're alike, but we're, like, different though, ya know?

I love people. I love studying them, interacting with them, learning how their minds work, and befriending them. As a result I naturally love personality-type studies like Meyers-Briggs (MBTI) and Gallup's Strengths Quest series. 

A few years ago Morgan and I sat together in a Creative Leadership class at Union College. We took the Meyers Briggs strengths test which tells you your top 5 strengths (out of 34). The chances of having 4/5 matching strengths with someone else is something like a zillion:1, and yet, Morgan and I had 4/5 almost in the same order. 

Mine:
1. Woo
2. Positivity
3. Communicator
4. Includer
5. Belief

Morgans:
1. Positivity
2. Empathy
3. Includer
4. Woo
5. Belief
(Or something like that)

Basically, its crazy rare how alike our strengths are. They say opposites attract but in our case it was looking more like the opposite was true. I remember that in those early months everyone thought our personalities were spitting images of each other. Shoot, I thought we were pretty darn similar too. 

Now, after 3 weeks of marriage and 4 years of dating, I can tell you we are VERY different. She likes to squeeze toothpaste with a fist and leave the cap off, I press up from the bottom. She hates lists because they stress her out, while I can't get anything done without one. She can watch the same episode of Grey's Anatomy 5 times and cry every time at the same scene, whereas I've never cried tears of joy or because something was "beautiful".

So, I've learned a lesson. No matter what you know of someone's personality, or how accurately you are able to sum someone up after a first impression, you are only getting a keyhole view of who they really are. We are all so intricately designed and uniquely complex, so take time to get to know those around you. Remove the labels, boxes, and stereotypes. 

Love and listen.